Lovesick: Twelve Shades of Pink
by OpiumCakes
Summary: The diary of a middle school outcast comes into the hands of the class queen bee. Bella Swan's life is soon to be a living hell. Bella / Edward screwed up romance AU/AH Rated M for mature themes and language to come.
1. Prologue

_Lovesick: Twelve Shades of Pink_

The diary of a middle school outcast comes into the hands of the class queen bee. Bella Swan's life is soon to be a living hell. (Bella / Edward screwed up romance) (AU/AH) Rated M for mature themes and language to come.

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Disclaimer: I can find no evidence that I, OpiumCakes, own any of the characters in Stephanie Meyer's _Twilight_ Saga.

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_Lovesick: Twelve Shades of Pink_

_Prologue_

(Bella)

I littered 15 pages of his name, my full name with his last name, thousands of hearts and roses and flowers and stars and butterflies and doves and sickeningly sweet shades of pink and blinding red and purple gel pen streaked across the looselead paper, clashing with the blue lines and red margin breakers.

From the outside it was just an unassuming blue covered notebook that belonged to a student. Inside it was a hellish disarray of lovesick schoolgirl obesession. It had the offhand appearance of a stalker's diary. Out of each page spilled glittery gaudy nonsense, the first of which bore an enormous heart completely colored in with a shrill, shocking shade of neon magenta, so thickly smeared that not one white speck of paper showed from beneath. It was a horrendous color. It was the lipstick the slut wore to her prom, it was the strawberry scented paste used to glue valentines together; it was antibiotics that had gone sour; it was the color of embarrassment.

In purple calligraphy ink in the center of the heart was his name. Each of the letters etched fifty times over again until the paper couldn't hold underneath them. When the page was flipped over, you could see the imprint of the name, backwards, on the other side.

Attempting to remove this less than convenient blemish, the opposite side had been smothered with 100s of frilly copies of the same flower, only slightly different in size. The pages of the notebook weren't any less despicable. They were pregnant with pansies and posies in princessy pink. Here and there his name was scribbled in different styles of writing. Fancy loopy signatures, and obnoxious elementary pillow letters in every shade of pink you could hope to see.

Bubblegum pink and sweetpea pink and nail polish pink and pepto bismol pink and carnation pink and bunny nose pink and sunburn pink and rose pink and yogurt pink and hot pink and cool pink. Then the next pafe was hosed down with every shade of red you could dare to dream of. Scarlet red and rose red and bloody red and american flag red and well, you get the idea. It was enough to make your head spin with confusion. But in all this, you could see a young girl's foolish heart; her fantasies that might never come true. Her whole life was based upon this one boy she devoted herself to. Her hopeless crush that would never extend beyond notebook pages so soaked in ink they were permanantly curled up.

This girl was obsessed. I was obsessed. That notebook was the most efficient mirror I had ever looked into. I wanted to smack my head and knock whatever sense I still could back into my brain. Instead, I leaned lazily over the side of the bed and vomited pink.

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_The nasty loveness will continue in due time..._


	2. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I can find no evidence that I, OpiumCakes, own any of the characters in Stephanie Meyer's__Twilight_ Saga.

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Chapter 1

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_Dear Diary, _

_Eighth grade is tough. Like, really tough. Not because of the classes (even though I can tell already that they will be hard, too) but because of the people._

_The kids are freaking mean for no reason, and the worst part of it all is, Alice Brandon isn't in any of my classes this year! She was just starting to become a good friend last year, maybe even a best friend, but now she probably doesn't even remember me. _

_Actually, this isn't even the worst part. I lied, Diary. The worst part of all is that Rose Hale is in three of my classes. Rose Hale. The perfect blond bitch that all the boys love and all the girls hate. She hardly ever talks to girls like me - shy girls with no popularity to their names. _

_Oh, no, Diary. I lied again. Rose Hale being in my classes isn't even the worst part of eighth grade year. Edward Cullen is in two of my classes. Edward Cullen. The cutest, hottest, most popular guy in school. He never talks to girls like me - shy girls with no sense of humor and no boobs. _

_Well Diary, it looks like eighth grade is sure to be a living hell. _

_Kill me now, _

_Bella_

I snapped my journal closed and tucked it into my backpack. My purple and white backpack from sixth grade with the stupid lanyard stuck on the zipper and the gray stains on the bottom from being dragged across the parking lot. I was too lazy to buy a new one, and Charlie always says if it's not broke don't fix it. Nice dad, isn't he?

It was Monday morning on my second week back in school; so far these early mornings were driving me nuts. Charlie said I should start drinking coffee. He said I was "old enough now." What the hell? Like he was _so _overprotective of me all these years that he wouldn't let me drink a freaking cup of coffee?

Puh-lease.

I took the front most seat on the school bus that morning like I always did. Everyone knows only the cool kids sit in the back of the bus. Jake Black and his gang pretty much dominate back there. I remember last year I started to think Jake was kind of cute. I guess he was the next best thing after... Edward Cullen.

Gosh, even the name gave me chills. I stared out the window and watched the trees blur by, thinking of what might happen in class today. I had first period with Edward. Math. It was the worst subject to get first thing in the morning, but it was a little bit more bearable because Edward was there. He sat diagonal from me, near the back of the room. Sometimes I would sneak a look at him while Mr. Dilson lectured about horizontal asumptotes or some crap.

The screeching brakes of the schoolbus came to a halt in front of the school and my stupid bus driver yelled at us kids to get off. He was such a moron.

I stumbled a little on my way down the steps, but no one saw because they were too busy ogling Rose Hale who was standing by the front doors, waiting for her two best friends, Tanya and Lauren. All three of them were different shades of blonde, and tall, and pretty, and they all had boobs. These traits, in no specific order, automatically classified the trio as popular.

I tried not to make eye contact as I walked past her.

Then I tried not to sneeze as I entered the hall. What is it about school hallways that stink so badly? It's like, old crayons and dust and gym socks and chlorine and disinfectant and lunch bags left inside lockers. I hate it.

I stopped by my locker to organize my books for my first four classes, and that's when Angela showed up. We always got lockers next to each other, and we had known each other since sixth grade. She was probably the nicest girl in our grade, with the exception of Alice (only because Alice was more social). I liked Angela. She helped me stay sane here.

"Hey, Bella," she mumbled with a yawn.

"Not sleeping again?" I asked her.

She shook her head.

"I feel ya." I said pityingly as I stalked off.

"I'll see you at lunch," she called and I waved back at her before slipping through the door to my math room.

Mr. Dilson's face was practically smashed against the computer at his desk. His gray hair was a mess and he had a huge bald spot in the back of his head. I wondered if he even noticed it was there.

I rolled my eyes and slumped into my seat, tucking my books under my chair and pulling out a notebook and a pen.

Only two other kids were the in room this early. Mike and Edward.

Ah, Edward. He always looked so amazing, even this early in the morning. His sparkly green eyes were all bleary and he had his hand in his hair, trying to stay awake. I wanted to say something to him, something witty that would make him laugh, but I could never think of anything to say. He would probably look at me like I was crazy anyway. He probably didn't even know my name. So I would just stare at him until all the other kids filed in and class started. I was still staring at him when Mr. Dilson asked me a question, and I answered wrong.

Whoops.

It should be against school policy to allow Edward Cullen to sit in the same classroom as other students - he interefered with their learning experience.

Math ended with the typical sucky homework announcement. English followed, then History, then Art, which was actually kind of fun, then I went off to lunch.

Angela was waiting for me at an empty table, and me and Jessica sat down at the same time. We all discussed the newest gossip as soon as we were all together. Once in a while we would look over to get a glimpse of the three Barbies at their table. Rose, Lauren, and Tanya sat at the most popular table in the cafeteria. Naturally the three most popular guys in school, Edward Cullen, Emmett McCarty, and Jasper Whitlock, sat with them.

There were always rumors going around about which guy was dating which girl. I heard they switched around a lot, and then I heard that Rose had dumped a couple of them for high school guys, which was insane if it was true. I don't care if the guy is eighteen years old and drives a BMW, I'd still take Edward Cullen over him any day.

I sighed dreamily as I watched Edward drink his soda. He had such gorgeous lips.

"Bella... snap out of it!" Jessica slapped my elbow.

"Ow!"

"You're gawking again."

"So? It's Edward."

"Yeah, but come on. Rose might see you."

"So what?" I scoffed. "He's not her property."

Jessica didn't buy that.

I wasn't sure I did either. But it was just a hunch. From watching the two of them together at their table, it didn't look like they had much chemistry. It looked like Rose was laughing at everything Emmett said the most.

Hmmm.

After lunch, me and Jess stopped in the girls bathroom to fix our hair and reapply lip gloss. I didn't really care about that kind of stuff, but Jess was a bit obsessive with her beauty ritual and she kind of dragged me into it.

"Ugh my hair is so nasty today." She glared at her reflection.

"Relax, Jess. It's just the humidity." I tried to console her. She rolled her eyes.

I huffed and locked myself into the furthest stall from the door, and listened as she walked away. I was about to flush when suddenly the bathroom door swung open again and a familiar clip-clop sound of heels on tile came inside.

I heard Rose and Tanya giggling and covered my mouth and nose so they wouldn't hear me breathe.

"Did you see her hair today?" one of the them whispered. I wondered if they were talking about Jess.

"I know, it was gross."

"I wanted to rip it out of her skull. I'd be doing her a favor, the poor bitch."

I heard the door to one of the stalls close, and Rose's voice say from behind the door, "So I heard Alice Brandon going on about this swimming party on Saturday - you know, the one at Edward's house?"

I leaned forward, suddenly way more interested in the conversation. A party at Edward's house?

"Oh, yeah." Tanya answered warily, "...that."

Rose's voice was dangerous. "So should I even ask why _we _were not invited?"

Rose and Tanya not invited to a pool party at Edward's house? This was too rich. I smashed my hand over my mouth to cover my growing grin.

Tanya sighed angrily. "You know, Edward's just been acting so gay lately. I don't get what his problem is. First he told me he didn't want to go see that movie last Friday, and now he's ignoring us for no reason, and inviting people to his house behind our backs."

"Ugh, what the hell is wrong with that kid?.Does he think he's too good for us or some shit?" Rose ranted.

The toilet flushed, then Tanya whispered secretively, "Should we crash?"

"Crash _his _party? As if!" Rose laughed demeaningly as the sink ran, "We can't act desperate."

"Well, we have to do something."

They paused for a long while, and I guessed they were probably doing their makeup or something.

"You know what I think?" Rose said after a while.

"What?"

"I think he likes Alice."

"Shut _up!_"

"Come on, it's so obvious. He invites her to all these parties that we don't know about, he's always texting her all the time, his dad gives Alice a ride to school every Wednesday..."

"Oh my God, you're right."

"That little tramp. I bet she slept with him over the summer. He was always pissed at me for never giving it up."

I almost gasped out loud because I couldn't believe they were really talking about Edward and Alice like that.

Tanya whispered scandalously, "How do we find out?"

They thought for a tense moment, then Rose snapped her fingers. "I got it. We'll send a spy."

"A spy?"

"Yeah, one of Alice's little unpopular 'friends' who doesn't know any better, and then she can come back to us with the details. Then we can see if he's really into Alice."

"That's not a bad idea..."

I could almost hear Rose's evil grin as she clip-clopped over the tiles toward my stall. "Now, who should we send as a spy...?"

She tapped her foot three times outside my stall and I knew in that moment I was caught.

Heart pounding, I unlocked the door and it swung open to reveal an evil-eyed Rose staring back at me. "I think I found us a spy, Tanya."


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I can find no evidence that I, OpiumCakes, own any of the

characters in Stephanie Meyer'sTwilight Saga.

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Chapter 2

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_Dear Diary,_

_Rosalie wants me to spy on Edward at his party. I mean, it's not like I_

_don't spy on him every single day in school, but this is just not me. I know he_

_spends a lot of time with Alice Brandon, but I also know that they aren't dating_

_or anything like that. Alice once told me that she hangs out with Edward because_

_she has a huge crush on Jasper Whitlock, and Jasper and Edward are practically_

_inseparable._

_I don't want to be a spy for the mean girls. But in a way it's getting me_

_closer to Edward and I can't really complain._

_What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I say something stupid? What_

_if Edward just... ignores me?_

_I'm scared,_

_Bella_

The day of Edward's pool party came sooner than I'd expected. I thought it

was kind of weird that he was having a swim party so close to the beginning of

the year. Usually people have pool parties at the end of the school year,

not at the start.

It was a sunny day in Forks. We were lucky.

I was as nervous as a turkey on Thanksgiving. And the oven was already piping

hot.

I tried on like six different bikinis, trying to see which one made me look

the least fat. It was annoying having to creep through the hall to get to the

floor length bathroom mirror. I had to wear a towel around me every time so that

Charlie wouldn't catch me in these skimpy suits. He'd have a heart attack.

I settled on a pale pink halter suit because it was the tightest fit (which

hopefully meant no nip slips). I wore that under a small white tee and cut-offs,

and slipped on my purple flipflops.

Nervously making the last minute checks in the mirror, I remembered Rose's

orders:

Just see what Edward does. Keep an eye on him, especially when he's close

to Alice. Tell us the details and don't get caught.

I knew there was nothing going on between Edward and Alice. Now, I could have

told Rose and Tanya that, but number one: they would not have believed me, and

number two: I could use this as an excuse to get closer to Edward.

I would keep an eye on him alright. Especially when he's in his swim

trunks.

Alice and her big sister came and picked me up at noon that morning in her

new car. I made sure Charlie had enough food to pig out on while I was gone.

I felt really grown up riding in a car with only kids my age and one

sixteen-year-old driver.

"I'm glad you're coming to this party, Bella. I really think it will give you

a chance to get over your shyness."

Alice was always saying things like that. Like, insults in disguise as

comfort or praise.

I rolled my eyes.

I was nervous when I'd gotten in the car, but my heart really started

pounding when we turned onto Edward's street. I knew it was where he lived

because all the houses started getting bigger and bigger as we went along.

Edward's house was huge. Not a surprise since his dad was the best surgeon in

the state.

They lived in one of those charming McMansions, complete with multiple

chimneys and a three car garage. It was at the end of the street in the nice

neighborhood where the nice people with white collar jobs lived.

It was the sort of house that was a friend magnet, a sleepover magnet. Big,

beautiful yard with the sprinklers always going, and a treehouse that could have

doubled as a guesthouse.

Alice's sister pulled up in the governor's drive and dropped us off. I

tripped a little on my wait out the door. Flipflops... not really a good idea

for someone as clumsy as me. Kind of a bummer I was just realizing this now.

It was a little breezy out, but not cold. I had chills anyway, but I think it

was just the nerves. Oh god, I was practically shaking.

"I'll pick you guys up at 5:30." Alice's sister called from the window.

Alice and her friends giggled like they had some kind of secret and started

rushing up the steps to the porch. I tagged along behind, hoping not to trip

again on my flipflops.

Alice pressed the doorbell and we waited for someone to answer.

"Dammit!" One of Alice's friends cried as she rummaged through her tote. "I

forgot an extra towel!"

The other girl with the reddish highlights rolled her eyes.

All of a sudden I felt really uncomfortable and out of place. These girls

were so much more sophisticated than me, and really not the type I usually hung

out with. I was used to the awkward crowd. The kids who sat in the corner. The

outcasts who just made it by. Not popular, hair-always-perfect, waxed legs,

fake-tanned girls like these.

Self-consciously, I hid my pale, bony legs behind my duffle pack.

The front door swung open.

"Hi, girls!" A lady with pretty auburn hair and a cute white sundress

exclaimed. I guessed this was Edward's mom.

Alice spoke for all of us. "Hi Mrs. Cullen!"

"Come on in!" she welcomed us with a wave of her hand. "Some of the kids are

already in the backyard."

My jaw dropped open when I stepped inside the house. The entryway was two

stories high, with a chandelier hanging from the ceiling, and marble

floors. Marble.

Holy crow.

"Feel free to put your towels and things in the upstairs bathroom." Mrs.

Cullen said, pointing at the staircase. "We decided the girls can use the one

upstairs and the boys can use the downstairs one."

"Ok!" Alice was already scurrying up the stairs. I take it she must have been

here before, she seemed very at home.

As usual, I brought up the rear of the small group, not wanting to be in

front in case I tripped on the way up.

"Ooh, good, you brought deoderant." The girl with the red highlights said as

she watched Alice unload her pack.

I looked down awkwardly. I didn't even think to bring deoderant.

"I also brought an extra razer, just in case." Alice said proudly, lifting

her new Venus Embrace for everyone to see.

"Alice, you are a savior." The girl with blond curly hair said, twisting her

hair into a scrunchie.

"Aren't you gonna leave your hair down?"

"Ew, no. Chlorine would kill my color."

"Well I don't know if I want to put my hair up though..."

I listened to them chat about hair and makeup issues while I sorted through

my bag on the floor. The art of being a well-groomed female was really a

surprisingly arduous process. It required a lot of upkeep, and apparantly I

wasn't in on the secrets.

I noticed the other girls taking off their shirts. I guess they were all just

going to walk down to the pool with their bikini tops and their shorts. So I

left my shorts on but took of my tee.

"Bella, do you want some lotion?" Alice asked.

I was grateful someone was talking to me.

"Ok, sure."

She squirted some apple-scented cream into my hand.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Your skin looks a little dry."

Ugh, I should have known. She almost always manages to throw some discreet

little insulting remark in there.

"Oh my god, my toetails look disgusting!" Blondie whined.

"Oh, they're fine!" Alice gushed.

"I'll have to keep my feet in the water."

Sheesh, the things these poor girls will do to protect their image was

outrageous.

Fake red hair lifted the blinds to the window and took a peek at the

backyard. "Hey, Alice... Guess who's here?"

I knew from the grin she wore exactly who it could have been.

Alice pranced over to the window and practically tore the blinds away to see.

"JAZZ!" She yelped.

I stifled a loud laugh.

"I can't wait anymore, let's go down there now!"

"Don't you know we have to make them wait?"

"But they know we're here already!"

"Guys, let's just go down already."

They filed out of the bathroom, each taking a last minute look in the mirror

to make sure everything was perfect.

"Coming Bella?"

"Yeah..." I suddenly felt sick. This was going to be interesting.


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I can find no evidence that I, OpiumCakes, own any of the characters in Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga.

-:-

Chapter 3

_-:-_

"Hey, Jasper!" Alice said in her girliest voice as she strutted up to the edge of the pool where Jasper was sitting.

"Hey, Alice." He gave her his sly, signature grin. I cold feel her blushing next to me.

"Mind if I sit next to ya?" She asked with a giggle.

He scooted over to make room for her. "Please do."

I would have normally rolled my eyes at Alice's flirty behavior, but I couldn't really blame her. Jasper was _really _cute. Especially with that Southern drawl and all. She was lucky if he liked her. He showed all the right signals so far.

"So who's your friend?"

I did a double-take as they both looked up at me. He was asking about ... me.

"Oh! That's Bella!"

I smiled and nodded my head like a dumbass. Jasper just smirked.

"Nice to meet you, Bella."

God, he was even hotter when he looked you in the eyes.

"You too."

I casually sat down on Alice's other side and dipped my feet in the pool. The water was pretty chilly and I started to shiver again. Nope, probably just nerves again.

While Alice chatted to Jasper about her sister's new car, I scanned the area for Edward. I found him quick enough, standing next to Emmett and some other big kid by a table set up with snacks.

I had this brief fantasy where I went over there in my hot bikini top and bravely started up a conversation with him. But just thinking about that was making me sick.

I could just go over there and get a snack, and maybe he would notice me.. I wasn't technically invited, but it looked like a lot of kids were here and he probably didn't care. The more the better, right? I mean, he was popular. Anyone could be at this party, and more people just kept coming.

I had to do this. I had to be brave.

Oh, who was I kidding? Edward was the most gorgeous guy in the eighth grade and I was some nerdy outcast who clung to Alice everywhere she went. I was just Alice's pity pet.

But Edward didn't have to know that.

Dammit. I was just going to do it. I was just going to get up off my ass and walk over there like the queen of confidence and he was going to notice me for the first time ever.

Before I could change my mind, I pulled my legs from the water, put my hands on the ground, and stood up. Fast.

Fuck.

I don't really know _how _it happened. All I know is that one second I was standing on the edge of the pool, and the next I was falling backwards _into _the pool..

I can say from experience that when you fall unexpectedly into a body of water (particularly _cold _water at that) the experience is in no way a pleasant one.

I got water all up in my nose and mouth and it was impossible to breathe or see anything. I was just so blown over by the force of the fall, I guess, that I couldn't even pull myself up. I was fucking _sinking. _

It was deep and cold and dark. Oh my god, it was the scariest thing that ever happened to me and it felt like an eternity. Not being able to breathe is the scariest shit that could ever happen to you. I thought I was going to drown and die.

Then it happend. A miracle.

Someone was pulling me up, up, up out of the water. Whoever it was was strong and a very fast swimmer.

I erupted from the pool in the arms of my unknown rescuer, choking and coughing up water all over them in a very un-sexy way. But fuck, I didn't care about being sexy now. All I cared was that I was _alive!_

I had to thank this person.

The second I finally was able to open my eyes, though, I went speechless.

Oh. My. God.

"Are you ok?" Edward Cullen asked me.

"Um..." I couldn't even breathe still, let alone speak. He was so close to me, and he was holding me in his arms, and we were floating in the middle of a ten foot deep pool with all these kids around watching us and stirring up a big commotion. "Yeah... I guess..." I coughed some more.

Yeah, dude. I really can't think of what to say.

Come on, Bella! Thank him! For fuck's sake, _thank him!_

"Thanks." I mumbled still in awe.

He laughed the most gorgeous laugh, and I felt it all around me. "I almost thought you were gonna drown there for a second." He whispered so the other kids couldn't hear. I smiled awkwardly.

He started to carry me over to the ladder.

Alice was freaking out. "Oh my GOD, BELLA! How could you do that to me! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Jasper also looked like he just got the shit scared out of him and everyone else was staring at me, and might I add a lot of the girls looked jealous. I was kind of flattered.

"Let's get you dried off." Alice tugged me into the house.

The last thing I remember was looking back at Edward... and seeing a smile on his face.


End file.
